January 12, 2017 by anonymousvixen
So lately I have been getting mixed signals. And as I was trying to process this situation. I went through my own five stages. Of dealing with this very confusing turn of events.
At first I was confused. I came to work Monday with a dopey grin on my face. And as I said goodmorning. He turned to look away. I thought to myself maybe it was all in my head? Maybe he wasn’t ignoring me?
I asked him to join me and my friend for lunch. And he said he would be down in just a second. As we went downstairs. I felt nothing but happiness. Thinking that my fears were all in my head. But then an hour passed. And so did my lunch. And he never even showed up. I thought maybe something happened?
After I waited for him. I thought maybe he would explain himself. But he didn’t, he just walked in like nothing happened. And started talking to other people.
I was really sad by this. And started telling myself lies. The lies we all tell ourselves when we are upset. Like i’m not good enough, no one will ever love me, and my personal favorite. I AM GOING TO DIE ALONE.
With the help of my friends. I was able to get angry. For about a good hour that guy meant nothing to me. And it felt good. I felt powerful and on top of the world. I wanted to let that anger soak in good. And I knew just what to do.
My last and favorite stage I would have to say. After being angry for a bit. I decided that I was going to ignore him (I know chilidish). But I really wanted him to know how it felt. So I came in Tuesday morning and didn’t say hello.
I started flirting with other guys (again chilidish) And even ignored him staring at me. We now have different lunches. So when I came back from my lunch. He was going on his. He touched my shoulder gently. And said aren’t you going to lunch? And I gave him my most dazzling smile. And replied no. He then said well that’s to be bad I thought we had the same lunch.
6. FINAL THOUGHTS
On the inside I was mad and confused. Here it is I thought I had him all figured out. And right where I wanted him. But it turns out I was wrong. To be continued…